Since it doesn't look much like Christmas.

It's beginning to look a lot like Syphilis
Lyrics by kindigo and ethereal_vision, with apologies to Johnny Mathis and his original.


It's beginning to look a lot like Syphilis...
I'm about to snap.
Doc took a look at me and he said "How" many people did you bed?'
At first he thought that I had got the clap.
It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis!
Pain from ev'ry sore!
Not the prettiest sight to see and I think that it could be
I'm getting even more!

I've got a fever, sore throat, malaise, and gummas. My days
Of being sane have gone with hepatitis.
Tabes dorsalis, gen'ral paresis, all proof I can't inhance my species
And damn it all I've still got meningitis.
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait to hear 'bout my proctitis.

It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis...
I'm about to snap.
There's a fee for every test, and though I try my best
it hurts to take a crap.

It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis...
Soon the worst will start
'Cos it's all led straight to my head and soon I will be dead
Unless I get my ART*!

*Antiretroviral therapy.